We all have those moments where we feel like we are at a crossroads. You may have to decide between taking a new job and staying with your current employer, whether you should stay in your current relationship or move on, or whether you should relocate or not.
When you are faced with such choices, and you are unable to get to an answer, you will probably feel the indecision draining you. You see, there are few things that can feel quite as crippling as indecision. And that’s simply because you are splitting your energy. When you are not lining up with a decision, you keep focusing on one option, then the other, and potentially even on the fact that you cannot come to a decision!
Let’s try and picture this.
Say you are at point A and you need to decide whether you want to go to point B or point C. What you focus on is what you spend your energy on. So if you think about moving to B, you start to move in that direction. But now if you decide on C instead, you start to move in that direction again (from where you currently are). By being indecisive, you don’t really progress to any specific destination, you sort of move to the middle, into the no-man’s land in between the two choices. So you can imagine if you were driving how tiring and potentially frustrating it would be if you were driving to point B, and while on the way you turned around to head to Point C, then back in the direction of B, potentially even turning back to Point A again. The more you drive around going nowhere, the more tiring it will be, and the greater your frustration level will be.
Driving around in circles will always keep you from making the best decisions for yourself. Eventually some deadline may force you to pick any old direction just to get out of the loop of driving around in circles, or you may just stay lost in limbo for a long time.
Now I’m not saying that you want to rush your decisions just to avoid splitting your focus. We all have many decisions to make and of course it takes some time to process the options and to think and feel which option is the best one for you at this point in time. The indecision that I’m referring to here is when that indecisiveness has been draining you, or when you feel like you’re at an impasse.
Quite often indecision has its root in fear of making the wrong decision. And that’s perfectly understandable! You want to make the choice that is best for you. Very closely related to that is the desire to make the right decision.
These two concerns are two sides of the same coin. But there is a difference, and I want you to feel the difference between the two sides below:
- “I want to make the decision that is best aligned to my true self, which is in my best interest”; and
- “I am afraid to make the wrong decision and therefore fail in what I’m trying to achieve”
You can see the relationship between the two, but I hope that you can feel the difference in empowerment between these, as it’s creation from two very opposite angles.
The fear of failing here also links with how perfectionism can hold us back in moving toward who we truly are, and we will explore it further in our upcoming post about getting unstuck. Sometimes we still keep active in ourselves those thought patterns that tell us that we need to achieve certain things in order to justify our worth. In other words, we feel like we need to prove our value through what we achieve. That is the way of the avatar (human mind) and it is what we pick up so often through the socialisation process.
I so often refer to the concept of directing the mind, and the benefits of learning to do that, and this is again one of those times that I will bring it up. You see, in order to build from the position of your choice, you need to first reach the side of the coin that you wish to create from. And that comes back to realigning your thoughts with the thoughts that empower you. In this case, it is to align with thoughts that are supportive of following and realising your dreams, i.e. the first of the two thoughts that we mentioned above.
So now you may wonder how that will help in making a decision when you feel stuck.
By aligning your thoughts to be in resonance with your True Self, you are better placed to know and feel which path is more aligned to what you are looking to achieve and create. But that means that you have to put your alignment first in order to be in resonance with that intention; you want to be connected with your Source of clarity. That may even mean thinking about something else completely if thinking about the decision that you have to make is currently causing you to go into a knot and lose your balance. You see, you can even line up on a different subject, and then use that connectedness to receive the inspiration and clarity to know which path feels more in sync with you.
So if you feel that you are synced up, think about the decision that you have to make again and see if a path lights up for you. Do you get an instinct or a feeling that one seems more aligned? That can come from being in sync with the True Self.
It’s also worth mentioning here that sometimes there isn’t much of a difference between two options because they can be equally beneficial (or not). If you line up and still don’t feel one path lighting up more than the other, then have as your intention to know whether either of these options is better, and to know so emphatically. Also consider whether not acting at this time may be the best option for you. Deciding not to act is different from being stuck in indecision. So line up with All of You and also consider the thought that these options may be equal or that neither option may be preferable at this stage, and see what comes back to you.
When you apply the process of lining up and assessing how something feels from your Integrated Perspective, it’s worth noting that the question and answer are always also two sides of a coin. That means that once you ask the question, you may not be in a place to immediately hear the answer. It really depends on how much resistance you introduce by asking the question. In other words, how many resistant thoughts are also activated when you ask the question in your head. If there are none, then it should not be difficult to keep the channel to the answer open.
Often there may be some resistant thoughts that are activated when you think about the subject and the fact that you need to make a choice. That’s why someone may suddenly find a solution to a problem that they were pondering while they are in the shower, or doing the dishes, or out on a jog. And the same applies here – once you’ve defined the question in your mind, it’s about getting into that space where you don’t resist the answer. And that can be through meditation, exercise, reading a book, etc., essentially anything that distracts you from the resistant thoughts.
Sometimes we may think that we need to continue to focus on the subject and that a solution will come that way, but obsessing about something rarely brings any clarity and answers, and usually actively works against it. Which seems a little counter-intuitive to the mind, because you are saying that you need to stop thinking about something sometimes in order for it be resolved, but that’s just the way the human mind works sometimes.
Just remember that you can always ramp up your intention by making it clearer what you are seeking clarity on, and then getting out of your own way (which is similar in saying getting out of your own head) in order to allow the answer and guidance into your life.