There are many ways in which we give away our power in the now, and before we started a journey of a directed life, we did not really care too much about each moment and how that influenced our happiness. But once you unlock the concept of directed thought and care about how it impacts your journey, it puts a different perspective on it.
Since there are so many more ways in which we can give away our power in the now than we can possibly cover, I will share a story of something that I saw during the week and we’ll chat about it in principle.
I was attending a seminar the other day and one of the other participants shared in much detail how someone else’s mannerisms earlier in the day caused her to be annoyed and frustrated – to the point where she brought it up hours later. It’s very human to see something that someone else does, hear what they say, or get insight into their beliefs and have a reaction to that. After all, it is part of our own sifting process of identifying what we like and do not like. In my mind it is like having “yes please” and “no thank you” buttons in your head and you press the one relevant to you based on what you experience. Think of it like walking down the grocery store isle and deciding what to put in your cart and what to leave out.
The extent of the reaction is the important bit here which distinguishes between directed and reactionary thought (focus). Someone who focuses with intention knows that the direction of your focus is where you give your energy, and you have the choice in how you direct that energy.
In this specific case of the person being annoyed by another’s mannerisms, what’s really the harm here? It seems innocuous, right? You may also wonder what the alternative could have looked like, and we will briefly touch on both.
In every moment where you choose between focusing on uplifting thoughts or negative thoughts, you are effectively choosing between two opposing forces. It’s like choosing between slamming the gas or the brake of your car.
Imagine that our person from the conference is working on a creative passion project on the side – do you think she would more likely be in a creative mood if she felt annoyed and frustrated from the seminar, or if she focused on the positive parts of the seminar? It’s quite easy to imagine the outcomes in the way we’ve set up the scenario here, but the rules remain the same even when you can’t immediately spot the differences in outcomes. Little by little, slowly but surely, you are taking steps in a direction, and this direction may or may not be the direction that you want to head in. Every time you choose negative thoughts over positive ones, you turn the steering wheel of your life ever so slightly. Over days, weeks, years, these decisions add up. You are essentially building momentum in a certain direction.
And how can you tell in the moment whether you are moving closer to what you want and who you are? It comes down to whether you feel that what you are giving your attention to is positive, and therefore you are applying the accelerator, or you feel negative when you focus on it, and therefore applying the brake. It may sound trite by now, but focussing on thinking positive thoughts really can help keep you moving in the right direction.
You may then start to wonder how you can strike the balance between analysing your thoughts to be deliberate in focus, and overanalysing them, which itself puts you in a fearful place and thus lets you stagnate? Well, we are in a world where we experience so many different things constantly that it can become a real concern. But, with practise, you become more aware of your thoughts and you catch the negative ones sooner to turn them around. The more frequent and consistent you are with your positive thoughts, the more momentum you build up in the direction that you want, which means that it becomes harder for life and its various negative things and thoughts to knock you off course. It all really boils down to choosing to be deliberate and then practising to be deliberate in your thinking.