We have all experienced those times when we notice physical pain in ourselves and others, and how it can impact our proximity to our Inner Peace.
What makes it so difficult that it almost feels incompatible to try to reconcile pain and Inner Peace?
To understand why it feels so much more difficult to enter our Inner Peace when we are experiencing or observing physical pain, we need to answer the question why it is so much harder to focus on wellbeing when we look at the lack of (physical) wellbeing. If you look at the (physical) suffering in the world, it may seem like there isn’t a lot of peace–let alone Inner Peace–available to the world and to others. Yet your Inner Peace never disappears and neither does the Inner Peace of anyone else that you are observing, even though it may appear that way at times.
The thing that makes it so hard to focus on wellbeing when it comes to physical pain is that pain can feel so ingrained, like it makes up a part of you. And because it is so ‘in your face’, it becomes more and more difficult to focus in a way that allows you to remain in your Inner Peace. You may then think, “Of course my focus is on physical pain, because how can I not focus on something that is so apparent in my experience.”
Why is it that focusing on physical pain causes you to be outside of your Inner Peace? Isn’t focusing on facts supposed to be neutral in terms of its effect on your proximity to your Inner Peace?
This is quite similar to noticing other things in the world that are also ‘facts’, i.e. an accurate description of what is. And describing what is does not in itself cause you to be removed from your Inner Peace. Rather, it is in how you describe what is, that makes all of the difference.
Through our associated thoughts, i.e. our thought commentary or subconscious thought patterns about what we observe, we don’t normally look at something without activating thoughts about what we see.
For example when you see someone in an expensive car, you can have no reaction and remain stable in your Inner Peace, because you have no thought-commentary about it. Or you can see that person and feel a bit of resentment, envy, maybe anger because of the underlying thought patterns that get activated as part of your focusing on them. The underlying thoughts may be something like:
- “the world is not fair because some have more than others”
- “I feel less worthy than someone who has more money”
- “that is what success looks like, and clearly I don’t have it”
Similarly, when it comes to observing your own pain, you can simultaneously observe the pain and activate thoughts that are not compatible with your Inner Peace. In other words, thinking thoughts that are contradictory to the perspective of the Self. When it comes to wellbeing, limiting thought-commentary may include statements such as:
- “I am a victim to this condition forevermore”
- “I cannot flourish because of this condition”
- “It is impossible to experience wellbeing feeling like this”
It is easy for this area to also become one of those where the mind can continue to focus on it, thinking that it can somehow ‘solve’ the issue if it can think of it enough. Of course, the opposite is true when it comes to physical pain – it is often only when you are no longer in resistance to the physical pain, and thinking of it less, that you find relief from it. There is a fallacy out there that to accept what is means that you then invite more of it into your experience. That is not accurate, as you are best in your power to change what is when you are no longer in resistance to what is. You move from being at the mercy of the conditions around you to taking control of the steering wheel.
For example, by accepting a headache and the pain that accompanies it, you can almost immediately feel a level of relief. It’s like letting some of that tension go and letting a bit of peace and relaxation take its place. So what you really want is to focus in a way that does not add tension to your current state.
As such, it can help to think of the pain as a sensation of the body, and the body’s way of asking for more wellbeing. And the best chance you can give your body to return to its state of wellbeing, is to allow the full stream of wellbeing into the body. Your mind is able to control the flow of energy as a stream of wellbeing that flows from Consciousness, which in turn impacts the wellbeing of the body.
For example, if you keep your mind in a state of anxiety and stress, your body will react to the pinched-off wellbeing over time. The first step to allowing the free flowing of that stream of wellbeing is to accept what is. In this case it can mean accepting the physical condition that has already realised, but also accepting the circumstances that have caused the stress or anxiety in the first place.
Even if the condition does not improve – how do you remain in acceptance?
Quite often people seek to ‘align’ with their Self because they hear (and believe – sometimes) that the best way to change the conditions around them is to empower themselves, and you do so through aligning with the Self. And while it is absolutely true – in fact, we even mentioned it in this article – I don’t want you to be dependent on the conditions changing in order to reach your Inner Peace.
True acceptance does not think “I can hold out and stop complaining until change comes.” That is a conditional entering of your Inner Peace. The place that you want to ultimately reach is one of being able to enter your Inner Peace without needing the conditions of the present moment to change. Ironically, that is also the ultimate sweet spot when it comes to actually bringing in change.
Another way in which some folks find it hard to reconcile their Inner Peace and their pain, is through their identification with their pain or suffering. Of course this can be either physical or emotional suffering, or both. That means that they hold onto the pain, even though it is unwanted and unnecessary to hold onto it, because they see it as forming a part of them. This does not have to be intentional; it is a common way for the avatar to see itself – as the sum of its past experiences – which includes the suffering it has or is experiencing. When someone is asked to let go of something that forms part of their avatar identity, that request may be met with resistance, depending on how someone sees themself in that moment. In other words, are they predominantly associating with the avatar, or with the Self? If the perspective is one of the avatar alone, or even just predominantly the avatar, then a physical condition can form part of how they see themselves. So they don’t want to let go of the suffering and the pain, because it defines them. And the more you see yourself in a certain way, the more difficult it becomes to see something else and believe something else, and therefore they are much more likely to perpetuate what is.
Although pain or suffering is not necessary in order to discover your Inner Peace, it can intensify your search for it. That is why some people associate suffering with a greater potential of reaching enlightenment or Inner Peace – it makes clearer what you do want. That means that there can be value in pain and suffering, and that is to get a better view of your life currently, because it holds up a mirror to you. This is true not only because of the sometimes more obvious link between your emotional state and the pain, but also because it can be an indicator to you that there’s still more work to be done in terms of entering your Inner Peace – especially in the face of unwanted conditions.
In order to enter your Inner Peace under all conditions, you need to discipline the mind, otherwise it can take you down a road of continued suffering. That’s why the Buddha said, “To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind.”